Like Handling Gold

The past few days have been knee deep in paperwork and even though I know that it is all necessary to bring home little M, at this point in time I am just tired of it - or shall I say it tires me out. We have about 9 different papers that need to get done, notarized and apostilled. Some are done and the rest are in the works, I am now just waiting on others, like our CPA and our Mortgage company to get things back to me. I have to say a great thank you to Vala our interpreter in the region for all her help with what I need and do not need. CHI has just changed things on communication with the region and we are aloud to communicate directly with our rep in region. The case workers in St. Louis are great but they get all their info second and third hand so it takes awhile to get your questions answered. Now I can email Vala and get an answer back very soon so that I can act on it quickly.

This has definetly reduced the stress of things but the thing that is the most stressful for me is that every page that I get from someone else(like our pediatrian), is so very valuable to me(because of the time and effort to get it) that I feel like I am handling a large amount of gold. I am afraid that someone will spill something on it, that the kids will accidentally write on it or that my car( with the papers in it)  will catch on fire when I am in the store! And then I have to start all over again. Once we get the papers back from the CPA, I will get them apostilled and sent off to St. Louis and I will then feel more at ease. The bigger concern is our Mortgage statement because once we get it(from Maryland) I will have to spend a lot of money to send it back and forth to get the notary verified and the papers apostilled. I just hope that in all the sending back and forth in the mail that the papers will be safe(so weird praying for a paper's safety but this paper is what will get our little boy home).

Well, now that I am in a holding pattern on the paperwork, I can finish unpacking and doing laundry. And then we can start shopping for school and little M!

Oh, one not on the jet lag - I will not say that I am back to normal but I am much better then the last time. I get up early still and am very tired by 9pm but during the day I am at full strength. Each day, I get up a little later and stay up a little later so hopefully by the weekend, I will be back to normal.

Blessings to all!

Home Sweet Home!

Hello everyone coming from Dublin Ohio! We are so very happy to be home. It is amazing that once you walk in your house how it almost feels like you have never been gone. It was so great to give the kids a hug and to sleep in my own bed - It is almost perfect, we just need little M. On our way home we were excited to 1) see and hug our kids 2) be at our home and in our own bed and 3) go to church. Thankfully we did get back on Saturday(see below) so that we could get to go to church today  - it was so wonderful to see our friends and worship with them(it had been a month since I had been home on a Sunday so I really missed being there).

This trip home was a little more frustrating then the last trips. We arrived at the airport in plenty of time but this time we flew out of Sheremetyevo instead of Domodedovo. It is an older airport and much less effecient. It took much longer to check in but the real kicker is that we were already to take off maybe running 15 mintues late and the pilot came on and said that we were waiting for our paperwork to be approved and we would be off. Well... 1.5 hours later we took off. Mind you, we had a conecting flight in JFK 2 hours 10 minutes after we were scheduled to land so we were trying to figure how we would make the connection. After talking with the Stewardess we knew that there was no way we would make it so we relaxed a little knowing that there was no rush when we landed. And then when we landed it was about another 20-25 minutes waiting for another plane to leave the gate that was scheduled for ours. Thankfully we found out that there was another plane leaving for Columbus that night and we were blessed to get on it. One note about JFK - did not like it. Ok, I know that we were tired and having to deal with missing our flight but when you have spent a week in Russia, where personal space and common courtesy are not part of the culture, you would like to have some of that good old USA smiling charm and NY is not the place to get it - maybe next time we will fly through Atlanta.

Ok, I have to say that I hoped that I figured out the key to jet lag( at least in coming back to the US). We woke up at 6:30 am Moscow time on Saturday and I slept only about 20 minutes on the plane. It was not until about 8:00 pm EST that I napped(that is 4 am Moscow time) and it was  for about 2 hours on and off  on the plane to Columbus. So when I got home I was able to get a good nights sleep of about 7.5 hours. I was able to make it through all day without feeling exhausted. It is almost 9pm and I am read to go to bed - but this is much better then the last time we returned. I will let you know how it goes this week.

So now on to the paperwork. I will be getting on it first thing Monday morning and am hoping that I can get most if not all of it done by the end of the week. The sooner the paperwork, the sooner the court date and the sooner our little boy will be at home with us - how great that sounds. Well off to get everyone to bed so I can go to sleep.

WE ARE ALIVE!!

OK - we are still here and alive but technology has not been kind to us. I have typed up a blog for each day that we have missed so for those with the time and interest can scroll down to "Sunday" and read about our week. For those who want the cliff notes version here it goes:

We arrived Sunday night at the Korvet and there were no travel issues. We found out that our meeting with the MOE would be Monday at 9am which was great! We also discovered that we had to wait a day for internet(which turned out to be all week for us). We got internet access Monday night but our apple laptop would not let us pull up any pages that required logins - so no blogging, no emails, only browsing and SKYPE(that was what we really needed so God did provide). Oh, by the way, we also could not use our calling card because of the rotary phone at the hotel so all charged were to the room! See the price below(phone way more expensive then internet).

Meeting with MOE went well and we got to the orphanage that morning. We got info and were able to quickly meet the kids. Now for the bad news, we had to decline the little girl due to medical reasons. We were given a new referral but there were medical issues there too. So GOOD NEWS - we have a beautiful little boy. He is adorable, somewhat quite, happy and a little ornery(sp?) He opened up to us as the week went along and we can not wait to get back to him. Hopefully in about 2 months.

We were blessed with traveling with Greg and Kyley(check out their blog off to the side) and Rai-Lynn an Donnie(same couple we were with the last trip). It was so wonderful to laugh at ourselves together - they all made they trip that much more fun.

We are now back in Moscow. the trip went very well except for the 5 am wake up. Greg and Kyley( the plane was actually comfortable before take off today-no dripping sweat-but it was full). A decent car ride to the hotel( not too much traffic) and now I am just catching up on blogging and emailing. We decided to pay the $40 all day internet service at the hotel because it is a lot easier to catch up now then when we get home.

Well it is 2:30 here and we are going to grab something to eat and do a little more sight seeing. We do not have to leave until around 9am Saturday so time to relax after a stressful week.

Pray for a safe return, and a calm, awake state as I finish up gathering all our papers next week. God Bless!

Thursday

Well, even though the week seemed to last forever, it is hard to believe that this will be our last day with our little boy for awhile but it was a great day!

First visit went well. He is pouting less with each visit - I think he is really upset that the caregiver is taking him away from play time with the others, but as soon as he realized that he still gets play time, he is fine. We then got a couple of special treats today. First, in the morning visit, after his group went inside, we got to give him his "Bath". So we went outside where the pool was and stripped him down and cleaned him up. But the caregivers were so mice and let us play with him in the pool for awhile. It was so fun and we got to see hie "cat" like features. THere were a few time when his head would go under water and before we could even get a hold of him, he would flip his body around like a cat does when he is falling so that he could push himself up! It was amazing to see a two year old do this! Another good thing is that he loves that water. The other great surprise was that after we dried him off, the caregivers allow Russ and I to take him up to is group area. We got to see where they play inside and eat which is really amazing because, they can be so strict about what you see.

The afternoon visit went well also and we are now starting to see the ornery(sp?) side of him - I guess that means that he is feeling more comfortable with us. Now for the afternoon surprise. When he had some in, he was eating a cookie. So later we thought he might be thirsty. We asked the caregiver for a cup and poured him a little water. He drinks out of a cup and just downed the water. After a few minutes of playing we discovered  a new word for him - "P". Well not much of a word but with the motion towards his bottom, we figured it must be "pee". And before I had a change to pick him up a puddle appeared. They do not put diapers on two year olds(they say they are too big for diapers) so even though he does tell you when he needs to go the bathroom, we still have to work on the timing. The even funnier thing is after we got him all changed and back down to the room, it was not even 30 seconds, before I heard some gas sound. I thought that we should take him to go potty but again, too late, second pair of pants to the washer. After the second change, it was time to say our goodbyes for awhile. It was hard, but at the same time, the sooner I leave, the sooner I can get back to him. We left him the stufffed "BAKA" that he loves and our photo album that the caregivers will show him. We also gave them a camera that they said they would use.

So a fun filled day with Little "M" and a great day for Rai-Lynn and Donnie because their court went great(only 45 minutes) and they are now officially parents of a little boy. To celebrate, we all went to Creme Cafe for dinner. It is on the Volga and Greg and Kyley had not seen the river yet. Unfortunately because of construction, they could only see a little of it as they stood on a step. Dinner was good and the trip home was even better. Riding in taxis anywhere is always a trip but in a foreign country there is a new twist. We had two taxis so Rai-Lynn, Donnie and I were in one. We got in and said "Korvet" and he shook his head and off we went. Well, I thought we were going in the wrong direction and kept waiting for him to turn. That did not happen until he turned into a parking lot of a ship/nightclub. Korvet is a type of ship so the driver thought we meant a real ship!! So thankfully we had a card from the hotel and off we went(quite fast this time) to the Korvet. I don't know what RUss, Greg and Kyley were thinking for the 10 minutes they were waiting for us to arrive but they were relieved when we arrives, and so were we! 

We are very hopeful that we will get to see Greg and Kyley on our second trip - It would be great to be here together again.

Wednesday

Now to the fun stuff! Our wonderful little boy is just so adorable, I could just give him kisses all day. He has those chubby little checks and an amazing smile. At first he was very reserved. He only cried at that first meeting on Monday but has not cried since. He will do the little pout thing with his lip when he first comes in to see us but after I pick him up, and give him the phone that makes all kids of sounds, he lightens up. It does not take much to make him smile and laugh. We are having so much fun with him. He does not talk much, only a few words, like mama, papa, baka(for dog) and lala( for little girl - that is what they must call the girls at the orphanage) which is great because that used to be a nick name for our daughter so when we showed him her picture, he calls her lala. I hope you don't mind being called that again sweetie.

Today we got to see Rai-Lynn and Donnie who came in Tuesday night. They were the couple who were with us the last time and they are now hear for court. Their little boy and ours are in the same orphanage so it was great to get to see their reunion after two months.  

Tuesday night we (Greg, Kyley and us) decided to get a taxi and go to Sans Pizza. It was an interesting cab ride(as all driving in Russia seems to be) and the food was great. The restaurant was a great reminder of home and the pizza was just like there too. I felt very sorry for our waitress who did a wonderful job trying to take care of us. It was a great evening out. 

I have to say that I always get a new perspective on others when I travel to a country where I can't speak the language(which is all except England and some of Canada). We had asked the hostess to call for a taxi to take us back to the Korvet(in English), she said "da" and began to  say something else that we had not idea what it was. We just looked at her with confusion. SHe said it again - again the same response. She then left and got a guy behind the bar, who proceeded to tell us that we were to wait at our table and they would tell us when the taxis was here. So that is what she was trying to say! You know, no matter how slow or how lound you speak to someone in a language that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HELP! Now that I have been on the receiving end more, I hope I do not do this to others - It is very frustrating.

Well, since we had the routine down for Sans Pizza, we decided to take Rai-Lynn and Donnie there on Wednesday. It was a great time being all together and laughing at all our adventures in travel. It is like we have been friends for a long time. It is great that we will all have kids from the same region.

Tuesday

I will start out with "WHAT A DAY FOR US". We went to visit the kids in the morning and got to play outside. It has been really hot here, between 95-98(officially) but the temp in the car we drive has said over 100 at times. They told us that Sunday it was 44 celcius which is 111 Far. It is that dry heat that I talked about, which does help a little but there really is not airconditioning around. In some of the restuarants and in only one of the cars that drives us around. Not even the government building where the MOE has airconditioning.

What was neat is that the kids play outside usually barefoot and in their underware, so when it is time to come in and eat. They take off their underware, let them jump in the blow up pool they have outside, wash out their hair, dry them off and put on their cloths - then upstairs to to eat.

So after our meeting with the kids and in reviewing our doctor's medical input, we had to go to Galina and tell her that we were willing to accept the boy but could not take the girl. This was such a sad day for us. I can not go into details but I want you to know that prayers were answered. I had been praying all along that God would make it very clear as to the decision that we had to make - in fact, I would even pray that He would just come out and write it out on the wall(He has done that before). Well, there was not writing on the wall but there was his writing on my heart. I am usually a very optimistic person and willing to try whatever it takes to make something happen but God made it very clear to me that this little girl was not for our family. The reason , I know is that God caused me to react so totally opposite then I ever had reacted before.  I am usually very emotional and this was not the case at all. I was very calm, clear headed(not thinking with my heart) and at peace with what God had in store for us. Yes, it was God's peace that showed me the way. For those of you who are facing tough times, just read through 1 Peter. It has been what were are studying in Bible study since June and again, God's timing is perfect. I have to say that this is one of my favorite books of the Bible(Even though I love them all) because it is a book that addresses so many issues in my life right now and no other book as has such a great impact on me a one time in my life. It is short so just pick it up a read it - It will change your perspective.

O, know that I have made it through the tears - We were able to meet with the MOE that afternoon for another referral but unfortunately, she was not going to be for us either. So today we had to wrestle with the thought of only bringing home one little one and that it would not be a girl. If I had not mentioned before, when we started this process, it made sense to us that we request a girl for our family. Then when we decided to get siblings,  we thought that a girl and boy would work best for our family. Now do not get me wrong, I am not disappointed at all that we are going to have a wonderful boy, but my heart was focused on a girl( an so was our daughter's) I was more worried about her then I was upset myself. You see, even though I have plans that I think would work, God has better plans and I have learned that a lot lately. In fact, I have learned it so much that I am getting used to God changing my plans, but it is a hard lesson for an 11 year old to learn. But again, she is an amazing daughter! I think she was dissappointed but knowing that she is getting a cute little adorable brother who will love the attention she will give him has helped and she is doing great!

Monday

We were told that very rarely do they get a morning meeting with the Ministry of Education so we were very happy. Last time we did not meet with them until 4:30 pm so since we had one less day in the region this trip, we were happy we got started early. The morning went like this: MOE at 9am, we received both our referral information which we had already had most of it. Kyley and Greg's turn was next and we then went to the notary to get papers signed so we could visit the orphanage. THen back to the MOE to submit the papers and then on to the orphanage.

We got to meet the director, who was very pleasant and helpful. She had all the necessary people assembled before we started, which made it a lot easier. We had to laugh because she had committed on why my passport was so pretty and not Russ's. Russ said that it was because I was prettier then he was and she laughed. But in reality it was because I had a newer electronic passport that had neat pictures and sayings in it versus the old plan pages. I guess the new US passports now beat out Spain for the prettiest passports!

After massive amounts of information and a brief meeting with both the kids(we got to see them for only a couple of minutes and they were crying. But who would blame them, there were 10-12 adults in a room and it was their lunch and nap times), we waited for Kyley and Greg and then back to the hotel. We would get to visit them again for a longer visit in the afternoon.

Now about our room, for those who are familiar with the Azimut, you will appreciate this. We had the new rooms at the Korvet, the ones with internet access. The were great! They had air conditioning, were up to date and everything matched. No sewer smell, no loud nosies because the windows had to be open. They were really nice rooms, however, these updated technology rooms were not as updated as we thought. When we got back form the first visit to the orphanage, we asked to see the computer guy and were told he would be in at 8pm. OK so we would see him them. Fast forward a few hours, we had decided to eat at the hotel the first night and after we had ordered our dinner, the lady at the front desk brought in the computer guy. So Greg and I followed him back to our rooms to get things set up - GREAT! Well, not so great. First he spoke no english but was familiar with computer lingo enough to navigate a computer. However, he had never worked on an apple. So after a really long time, I finally told him to go over and help Greg out. At this point a was very frustrated because computer access was a must for us here. I played around with the information he wrote down awhile and even called my apple expert (Nigel) back home - I was desparate. But after awhile longer, I gave up and went back to a cold meal. Thankfully, Greg;s computer was working so after dinner, we wrote up information to send to the doctor and used his laptop to send it. Thank you Greg and Kyley!

After everything was done that night and we were settled down from a big day, I decided to try the laptop one more time and by only the grace of God(yes God does have control over computers too) IT WORKED!! So we had internet access, somewhat. We could get on the internet but anything that required a password, we could not get to even the page that we sign in on. So Even though we could look at our blog, we could not post or read comments. No email either. We could only search the web and thankfully, use Skype to talk to the kids. That was the minimum that we needed and so that is what we got. But then again, it would cost us to use too.

THe other technological issue we had was that since we could not use the computer for iver a day, we used the good old phone to talk to our family. THis time we decided that we would not pay for an international phone and just get a calling card, since we used it so little the last time. So when my calling card would not work, I was at my witts end. After some reading through the material, I found a line that said,"Will Not work on rotary phones" Even though this was a push button phone, I could hear the rotary when I dialed. OH NO!! So I had to dig out my papers on making international phone calls and then just charge it to the room! Through all this the cost was as follows: internet usage and skpe calls(over 2.5 hours worth) less then $6.00  - 39 minutes of phone calls $83.00!!! That was about the price that I would have paid for the phone and minutes the last time, so I was not that upset, but it goes to show you that the phone is on the way out and internet talking is the way to got.

To finish up on Monday, our visit with the kids went well in the afternoon. We had fun playing with them and they kept us really busy. Russ and I had to switch off with them because it was too hard to have them both play together - they each wanted to do their own thing. We have medical concerns over the girl but will see what the doctor says.

Sunday

After our McDonald's breakfast, we went for a walk back to Red Square. We were not as rushed this time and the sun was out(somewhat). We walked a little more around the Kremlin, saw something like the tomb of the unknown soldier here at the Kremlin. Not sure if it was even a tomb but there were guards standing outside and we watched the changing of the guard. It was some special festival and there were people dresses up like famous Russians. We saw Lenin and the last czar(Nicolas) standing and talking together - that was interesting since Lenin overthru the Czar! Anyway we got more pictures of St. Basil's and thought about taking a tour but since we were not sure on the time, thought we might try it later. We went into the underground mall and GUM. Gum was very pretty but soooo expensive! THere was a children's shop and I thought I would just check it out. There was a little 12 month sweater for a little girl that was 25,000 Rubles which is over $1000 US. I kept looking at the tag thinking I was reading it wrong but I don't think so. 

AFter some more walking around we headed back to the hotel for lunch and then were picked up to go to the airport. That is when we fially got to meet Kyley and Greg. We have been blessed with both trips so far to have another couple with us and they were great!. So, off to the airport.

Nothing too much out of the ordinary except that the plane did not have any air on while we waited for take off. The plane is very small to begin with so  Russ's knees were probably hitting Greg's back through most of the trip( he sat in front of Russ) but the heat was unreal!  We were all sweating but the guys has sweat dripping off of them, needless to say, we were all thankful when the air finally started. The flight went pretty smooth, we landed and were at our hotel by around 9pm and wer had a meeting with the Ministry of Education at 9am the next morning. So after we asked for internet cords, an realized we could still not get on, we decided to go to bed and talk to the computer guy the next day. The only problem that night is that our internal clock was still off, so at 1am we were both up and eating our snacks until about 2:30. Needless to say we were tired on Monday but the adrenaline got us through.

We Made It!

Hello everyone! We made it to Moscow safe and sound but exhausted! The flights and transportation went well. All flights were on time. No problem with weight of our luggage(yet) and for our long flight from JFK to Moscow, we had and extra seat in our three seat row so Russ sat on one end and I on the other and there was extra room in the middle - that was nice! Even with the extra room though,  sleeping was near impossible. The plane was just loud and if I was lucky, I got 1.5 hours sleep. So when we finally got to our hotel, we slept for about 2 hours before heading our to sightsee. It is really weird when you recognize things in Moscow. The strangest thing is that wa we were driving from the airport to the hotel, it literally felt like no time had passes since we were here last  but it has been two months.

We ventured out to Arabat street that is mainly shops and street vendors. Ate at the Hard Rock Cafe and then waled back to the hotel. Just that little jaunt just wiped me out. We really wanted to try to stay up until 9pm ad then sleep  but at 6pm I could not even function. So we slept until about 10pm, ate downstairs at the hotel restuarant and went back to bed around 12:30 am and slept until 7:30 this morning! So with a good nights sleep and great shower and now and Egg McMuffin in my tummy, we are ready to go. Our flight does not leave until 5pm tonight so we have time to do more sightseeing this morning. We are at McDonalds now posting because of the free WiFI.

The weather in Moscow always seems the same, overcast and rain! We did see the sun yesterday and it was in the low 80s which is really hot for here. Not even the Hard ROck Cafe had air conditioning. But with the rain last night it will be in the low 70s. However, Astrakhan will be in the upper 90s this week. It will be a dry heat though so that will help - NOT!

It is amazing how traveling 8 time zones and little sleep will really mess with your emotions and mind. Yesterday, all I really wanted to do was go back home. Just the overall frustration of having to talk to people that do not understand you and really being out of your comfort zone along with the overall grumpy state that I was in due to the lack of sleep really started to focus me on myself and I forgot about the reason we are hear. But with a wonderful nights sleep, I am back to myself and am so excited to meet the kids tomorrow. 

We, so long for now. We will post again on Monday. I just want to tell our wonderful brave kids that we really miss them and love them A LOT - we want to send you lots of hugs and kisses. May God bless all of you who take the time to read my ramblings and pray for us.

Ready to go.

It really is hard to believe that we will be getting on a plane tomorrow for Russia.  With all that has been going on these last few weeks the time has really gone fast.  I really have to give my wife some serious props because it is now only 9:30 p.m. and we are packed and ready to go. Also, unlike last time, the kids are not wigging out about our  trip and are really being great - Thanks O, D and L !!!

I also have to thank my in-laws again for taking care of our kids while we are traveling - thank you and know that we love you.  I pray that the kids behave and help out mama and papa this upcoming week.    I also wanted to thank our family and friends for all their prayers and support - thank you and know that we love you.  

Please continue to pray for our kids, the two we are going to meet and the previous two that Jesus will continue to comfort and protect them.   NOTE: See Brian, unlike Coach Tressel I will use the J word.   We'll try to blog again from  Astrakhan sometime Sunday.

Russ and Monica

Back and Unpacked

It is amazing that we are back from vacation and only have two days until we leave for Russia! The vacation went quick(as they always do) but it helped to pass the time until we leave for Russia. What is amazing is that I have completely unpacked and almost done with the laundry! I have to give credit to the kids for unpacking all their things( with some probing) and for my wonderful husband for doing laundry while we were gone(along with cleaning the house!!). Wednesday will be paperwork day, running errands, paying bills and gathering up all the things we have to pack. Thursday will be packing day. 

I have this nagging feeling that I have forgotten something and it is driving me crazy. If I forget something minor, ok; but what if I forget something major? We had a problem last week while I was gone with some additional paperwork that Russia wanted. They said that our homestudy had an error in one of our addresses and that we needed an addendum before we go back. Now, what I thought was strange in that we had already been there and there was no mention the first time. We, along with CHI, can not find an error but if they want an addendum, we will give them an addendum. The good thing is that the homestudy will now be good for another year and we would have had to renew it when we got back anyway. Speaking of papers expiring. Almost all our dossier will expire in September(except fingerprints and I171) so when we return, I will be  shoulder deep in paperwork.

So here is what I have:

airline tickets - done

travel insurance - done

hotel for Moscow - done

hotel in Astrakhan - CHI does

airline tickets to Astrakhan - CHI does

visas - here and correct

get homestudy apostilled - will arrive on Wednesday an then do

New crisp money - have some, need to get more

Get Skype working with Mom's PC - do Wednesday

Run errands - Wednesday

Gather all my paperwork - Wednesday

Pack - Thursday

It is hard to believe that we will be back in Astrakhan in just a few days and hopefully meeting the children that will soon be ours. Please pray for safety and wisdom in making our decision and just an overall peace for myself. I hope to post before we leave. Blessings to all.

Please Pray

I wanted to post something that is not related to the adoption but it very important. A friend of a friend has stage IV Brain Cancer. Her Family is requesting prayers for her. I have to say that pray is one of the most powerful gifts that God has blessed us with and I have seen how God works through pray in both the big and the small. I know that I ask for prayer a lot but I know that it is so important to my life and that I could not get through it without the prayers. But please add Misty and her family(She has a baby girl) to your list. In fact, just forget about any prayers for me for awile and focus on her and healing - lets lift up our hearts on prayer together to the Lord and watch Him do Miracles. You can click the link at the top of my page to view her husbands web site. Thank you and may God bless you.

Packing... for Vacation not Russia

Yes, I am packing but not for our trip to Russia but for our vacation. It has been a crazy week. Monday we received our travel dates and we are for sure leaving on 7/18 but are coming home on 7/26, a day earlier then last time. Since I will be on vacation with the kids and my parents and my brother's family(Russ is not going because it would just be too much time off work) through 7/14, that means that I will have three days to unpack from vacation, wash cloths, do bills and pack for Russia?!?! Am I crazy?!?! Oh never fear, I have learned that as long as I rely on the strength of the Lord and not my own, things will get done(maybe not all that I want to get done - like making sure the house is clean before I leave) but what is necessary will get done. 

So this week, I have made plane reservations, hotel arrangements and sent off the visas. Just a not to all  you PAPs out there, if you have to send off  your passports to get your visas on your own, check to find out the hours of the place you are sending them. Our agency is opened from 10am - 7pm, but when I sent the passports off, I did Priority overnight(10:30 delivery) not just standard overnight(3pm delivery). So when I checked the next day(7/3) they had tried to deliver it at 8:45 am but no one was there and they were not going to try again until 7/7! Well, I did get on the phone and they asked the driver to try again after 10am and they did and it got there on 7/3 . Just don't want you to pay a few extra dollars just to get more frustrated.

Anyway, I think I am almost ready for Russia. When we unpacked from our last trip, everything, except our cloths went into laundry baskets in the basement. And anything that I have purchased since, just goes into the baskets. So it should be easier this time. I will be bringing my packing lists with me on vacation to review and if something comes up, I can just have Russ get it. 

It is very hard having two trips in the span of three weeks. I get excited about both at the same time but can not work on both so as I finish this post, that will have to be the end of focusing on our Russia Trip for awhile as I set my focus on our vacation. For those of you who know me well, you know how organized I am and how I plan everything and pack for every situation that might happen - well, I am changing. When you do not travel that much it leads to hours and days of preparing and packing. But this year alone, I have done two major trips(one with three kids and a plane) and am getting ready to do two more in the next three weeks and if I continued my old ways, I would drive myself crazy. In fact for this family vacation, I have not even looked at a map to find out what roads we are going to take to get there - thankfully my brother and Mom are doing that.

One other thing was that we were able to get into and see the IA doctor on Monday and unfortunately the medical info that we have, even though it gives us some idea of their conditions, it does not give us a clear picture and we will have  to wait until we meet with the orphanage doctors. But with that all said, we are optimistic and very prayerful that God will make it clear to us if these should be our children.  Phillipians 4:13 says " I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." This verse gives me hope that no matter what happens that through Him, I will have strength to do it. However, I get worried at the same time. I am so much like Peter who took his eyes off of Jesus when he was walking on water. I start looking at what I know "I" can do and what "I" can handle and what "I" want and I start to sink(and fail miserably). That is the part of me that says that there is only so much I will be able to handle medically with these children. Then , I remember what Jesus has done in my life and especially in this adoption and how I have grown in Him and how things turn out when I just rely on Him and then I think of this verse and know that through Him, I can handle anything( and that would be anything with the medicals of these children too). 

As you can see, I get myself caught in between the might power of God and the weakness of myself and what the world says and I get dizzy from bouncing back and forth. It is like I am trying to decide now what we can handle and what we can not but it is not that easy. I know that I am going to have to wait and see. I am sure you are totally confused by my ramblings so you can see how I feel. Just pray that God will make it crystal clear to us on what we should do when we get to Russia. Yes, I would love to have perfectly healthy children with no problems and yes I know that through God ,we can handle whatever health they have but I know God has a plan for us on what He wants us to do, I just hope I am alert enough to recognize which way he wants us to go.

The first referral we had nothing much at all about the children and this time, we have pictures and medicals. I thought it might make it easier but it just makes it harder. I see their beautiful faces and each day fall more in love with them and I have not even met them. The last time we had four days of seeing what they looked like and then getting to know them before our dream started to fall apart. This time we will have over three weeks of looking at their pictures and imagining how they are and will be with our family and a day or two of being with them before we have to make a decision. I am afraid that a fall from this would hurt much more.

Ok, now that I have brain dumped on you all, I am off to a fun filled day of picking up my wonderful daughter from camp(who will have missed so much) and packing for vacation. I pray you all have wonderful days and that God's blessings are poured out on you.