The Call (take two)

Well, we have officially completed one phase of waiting and started another. After 11 days of waiting to get news about our new referral, it came - Friday June 27th late in the afternoon! The day to day waiting is just a killer!. You know they are working on your referral and that any call  you get could be it. You wake up in the morning thinking, is it today? And then by 3-4 pm you write off the day as another day gone by without the referral. Thankfully this week was very busy for our family. Tuesday, the kids and I went to the local waterpark, and Wednesday - Friday, my Mom, sister-in-law and I had a garage sale. It was nice to keep busy but I had my phone attached to me at all times and every time it would ring, my mind would race in fast forward imagining what the conversation would be like if it were our agency. So by Friday afternoon, I thought that it was another day without the referral but I was wrong.

I have to say that we are very excited but much more calm this time. We received a referral for a girl and boy that are not related. Normally this would not happen but because we had lost the referral and the region had no more siblings in our age group available for adoption, the region in Russia and CHI were willing to give us a referral of unrelated children. We also were able to get their names and some medical information. We are concerned about some of their medical diagnosis and plan on seeing an International Adoption Doctor early this week but we really don't think we will be able to get their full health picture until we visit the orphanage doctors. 

Please pray that their medical are not severe and that they are something that we can handle as a family. This is another reason that I am not jumping off the walls as with the first referral, we have been hurt before and our concern over their medicals  is causing us to proceed cautiously.

Now, I have saved the most exciting and scary news for last---- their birthdays are in the same month, same year and they are TWO YEARS OLD!!!  Virtual Twin Two Year Olds!! Of course they look nothing alike. Part of me is excited because communication will be a little easier, the younger they are the more time we have to reverse an problems caused by being institutionalized, they will always have a close friend to play with and they are just so cute at two! However, having two the same age going through the same struggles at the same time and then dealing with "Two year old" issues again?!

Again we are holding back a little on our emotions but would love to have your prayers as we move forward on this journey. The other crazy thing is that we are thinking we will be leaving on July 18th. OK, that is a little less then three weeks away, however, the kids and I are going with my family on vacation from July 6th through July 14th. So I have 6 days(tomorrow doesn't count because I will be in the car all day taking my DD to camp) to pack for vacation, get plane tickets, visas etc before we leave. I will then have 3 days after we return to get ready to travel to Russia and send the kids off to Grandma's. Thankfully, we have been through this before and we know what we are doing now(at least in the packing category).

So again, I reach out to you all to lift us up in your prayers. I feel like I am being so selfish in asking again and again for your prayers but I want to let you know that they make all the difference in the world. I thank God everyday for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who care so much to pray for us. 

I do want to add one more request. There is a family in the Columbus area that are also an adoption family that need your prayers as well. Their 14 year old son, Harrison, was hit by a car last week and he is in very serious condition. Pray for healing for his battered body and for strength for his family as they are at his side.

God bless you all! 

Right Decision

In communicating across the world, you often find out more details at a later time. Later this week after we decided to move on with a new referral, our case worker tried to get more information. We found out that both the Department of Education officials and the prosecutor's office suggested to our CHI rep that we not pursue the adoption of these children. They said that the family was against the children leaving Russia and even if they did not get to adopt them, their desire to have the kids stay in Russia would have been enough to have a judge deny our adoption. Even though this was frustrating to hear, we do feel more at peace with our decision and won't be seconding guessing it for the rest of our lives.

I just want to take a second to thank our case worker Arati. Today is her last day at CHI and we wish her well in all that she does. Thanks so much  for being part of our journey.

With all that being said, we are ready to move forward. We hope that focusing on the future will help heal the past.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Even though the last two days have been hard today is our DD's 11th Birthday! It is such a great celebration to have such a wonderful daughter. Every night when I tuck her into bed, I am just glad she still likes me to tuck her in, she always wants to give me a big hug. Last night she gave me an extra big hug and said, I wish I could just hug you forever. Ohhh so do I sweet princess!! We love you!!

Difficult Decision

Well the waiting has been hard for both of us. We have days that are so busy that they tend to go by quickly but then something would turn our focus to Russia and I would just ponder for hours and seemed to get nowhere. On Monday, our CHI rep was going to be in Astrakhan and was suppose to visit the Ministry of Education(MOE) to find out about what is going on  with our adoption. I was not expecting any info on Monday because it seems to take awhile to get information back to us. However, towards the end of the day I sent off an email to our US rep to see if there was any news. Sure enough, 1.5 hours later, I received a call, but not what I wanted to hear. 

There was no update from the MOE at all. Basically the same info that we had when we left. We were told that they were going to try to wrap things up by the end of June but since that is only two weeks away and nothing has changed, we know that is not going to happen. In fact our Russian Rep said that she has no idea how long this is going to take.  We know that there are relatives that are interested in adopting them and they are filling out paperwork to do this. Once completed and submitted they would have to be approved/denied by the government and then we would be told.

As I heard her telling us that there is no idea how long this would take(many many months possibly), my heart just sank. I want to wait for these children that are now a part of our hearts, but as each day goes by more of my heart goes to them and I do not know if I could take losing them after months of waiting and wondering. Part of me just wants to pray that God would make them ours no matter what, but deep down, I know that I can not ask God to take them away from their family - it does not sit well with my soul, not even from the first day this disaster has raised its head.

So with all this and many other things, that I will not go into, going through our minds, we have decided that we are going to move forward and request another referral. In just typing this it hurts so much. It has taken me two days to even be able to type this post. But no matter how I feel, I know that this is the right thing to do. No one ever said the right thing would be easy.

Our prayers are now turned toward a successful adoption for their relatives so that in the end there will be four orphans with homes not just two. We ask you to pray for these children as well and even though we may never know the outcome for their lives, we trust the Lord and His ways, they are greater then ours.

So what is next? We somewhat start over but not completely. We will be getting another referral fairly soon. We will have to travel to meet them again. Come home and wait for a court date and then return for court and bring them home. It seems like this past month has been a waste(we left for Russia 5/16) but it has not. We have grown so much in the Lord and leaned on Him to get us through each day. It has been an exercise in relying on the Lord and that has been a priceless exercise. I can not tell you the peace we have about everything because our eyes are on the Lord. Yes we are still in utter turmoil inside and our hearts are breaking - there will probably always be an ache in my heart for these children - but we know we are in amazing hands as the Lord leads us through this journey. We do not know what lies ahead and I pray that we do not have to repeat this aching disappointment but we know that He is with us in every step. I keep going back to a verse I posted earlier from Habakkuk 3:17-19

"Though the fig tree should not bloom and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, YET I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' feet, And makes me walk on my high places."

We will update as soon as we hear something. Please continue to pray for the children's relatives to have a successful adoption and for strength as we continue our journey.

Waiting in the Lord

There is no news but I check my own blog daily just to read the Verse of the Day. And I could not help but comment on what the Lord has been doing in this emotional waiting period. 

Today's verse is 1 Peter 5:10

"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."

I have just started studying  1 Peter last week and am so comforted by it in this difficult time. First, I know that my suffering is nothing compared to those who are persecuted in the name of Christ or those who are suffering from illnesses and so on. My difficult time is purely because I have a lack of patience and I am not in control(I don't like to be out of control). 

Second, I have found that leaning on the Lord and taking comfort that He is in control gives me "the peace of God,which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"(Phil 4:7).  Although I struggle at times and get frustrated that things are not moving faster, I still take comfort in my Lord. I know that He is strengthening me and growing me. I know that He is in control and if I will just let Him do His job, we will, in time, end up with exactly the children that He has planned for us. And in the meantime, I need to let Him mold me into the, wife, Mom and child of God that He wants me to be.

No New Information

Well, we did get some information this week but it was nothing new, just that things are moving forward.  However, we did find out that our CHI rep will be in Astrakhan on June 16th and will be able to meet with the officials directly and get an update on what is going on if anything. I am trying to prepare myself for news in either direction so you can imagine the rollercoaster of emotions that we are going through right now. We were told that there should be an answer by the end of June but I am getting the sense that it might be longer.

The positive thing is that the kids are out of school and we are keeping busy going to the pool, VBS and so on. As soon as we hear something we will update everyone but for my sanity I will be trying to focus on our life that we have now. Most likely I will update after 6/16.

Please continue the prayers for wisdom for all those involved, for a speedy decision and for peace of mind for us. Thank you all so very much for the prayers you are sending up to the Lord, we are so truly blessed!!!

Passing time

Slowly we have returned to our previous routine.  It has only taken Monica a week to readjust to the time change.  Neither one of us would of thought it would take this long - something to look forward to for trips two and three ( HA HA ).    

We are very thankful for all the prayers and support that we have received and continue to receive during this adventure.  We are truly blessed - thank you Jesus!  While we may not understand why this whole journey to bring two little ones home from across the globe can be so difficult, we know there is a reason.  I catch myself not following the advice I routinely give - that you grow in your faith when things don't go as you have "planned".  You must remain faithful because you were never in control in the first place; that's what makes God sovereign. Isn't it so much easier giving advice to others? - another way He humbles me.   

Monica and I remember a blog that we have been reading for a number of months - from a family who adopted siblings from Russia over two years ago.  I remember reading the comment that said that adoption will "stretch" you beyond what you think you can go;  but through it all you realize that this growth.  How true that has become.  

Some of you know that we still are not certain we will be able to adopt these two little ones.   All we know is that there should be a decision by July as to the legal status of the little boy. Also since these little ones are siblings, what ever happens with him affects her as well.   Monica and myself continue to ask you for prayers, because as my best friend reminded me again this week, God is faithful and he hears the prayers of His children.    As soon as we find out something we will post.

Serving the King

Russ and Monica