Packing... for Vacation not Russia

Yes, I am packing but not for our trip to Russia but for our vacation. It has been a crazy week. Monday we received our travel dates and we are for sure leaving on 7/18 but are coming home on 7/26, a day earlier then last time. Since I will be on vacation with the kids and my parents and my brother's family(Russ is not going because it would just be too much time off work) through 7/14, that means that I will have three days to unpack from vacation, wash cloths, do bills and pack for Russia?!?! Am I crazy?!?! Oh never fear, I have learned that as long as I rely on the strength of the Lord and not my own, things will get done(maybe not all that I want to get done - like making sure the house is clean before I leave) but what is necessary will get done. 

So this week, I have made plane reservations, hotel arrangements and sent off the visas. Just a not to all  you PAPs out there, if you have to send off  your passports to get your visas on your own, check to find out the hours of the place you are sending them. Our agency is opened from 10am - 7pm, but when I sent the passports off, I did Priority overnight(10:30 delivery) not just standard overnight(3pm delivery). So when I checked the next day(7/3) they had tried to deliver it at 8:45 am but no one was there and they were not going to try again until 7/7! Well, I did get on the phone and they asked the driver to try again after 10am and they did and it got there on 7/3 . Just don't want you to pay a few extra dollars just to get more frustrated.

Anyway, I think I am almost ready for Russia. When we unpacked from our last trip, everything, except our cloths went into laundry baskets in the basement. And anything that I have purchased since, just goes into the baskets. So it should be easier this time. I will be bringing my packing lists with me on vacation to review and if something comes up, I can just have Russ get it. 

It is very hard having two trips in the span of three weeks. I get excited about both at the same time but can not work on both so as I finish this post, that will have to be the end of focusing on our Russia Trip for awhile as I set my focus on our vacation. For those of you who know me well, you know how organized I am and how I plan everything and pack for every situation that might happen - well, I am changing. When you do not travel that much it leads to hours and days of preparing and packing. But this year alone, I have done two major trips(one with three kids and a plane) and am getting ready to do two more in the next three weeks and if I continued my old ways, I would drive myself crazy. In fact for this family vacation, I have not even looked at a map to find out what roads we are going to take to get there - thankfully my brother and Mom are doing that.

One other thing was that we were able to get into and see the IA doctor on Monday and unfortunately the medical info that we have, even though it gives us some idea of their conditions, it does not give us a clear picture and we will have  to wait until we meet with the orphanage doctors. But with that all said, we are optimistic and very prayerful that God will make it clear to us if these should be our children.  Phillipians 4:13 says " I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." This verse gives me hope that no matter what happens that through Him, I will have strength to do it. However, I get worried at the same time. I am so much like Peter who took his eyes off of Jesus when he was walking on water. I start looking at what I know "I" can do and what "I" can handle and what "I" want and I start to sink(and fail miserably). That is the part of me that says that there is only so much I will be able to handle medically with these children. Then , I remember what Jesus has done in my life and especially in this adoption and how I have grown in Him and how things turn out when I just rely on Him and then I think of this verse and know that through Him, I can handle anything( and that would be anything with the medicals of these children too). 

As you can see, I get myself caught in between the might power of God and the weakness of myself and what the world says and I get dizzy from bouncing back and forth. It is like I am trying to decide now what we can handle and what we can not but it is not that easy. I know that I am going to have to wait and see. I am sure you are totally confused by my ramblings so you can see how I feel. Just pray that God will make it crystal clear to us on what we should do when we get to Russia. Yes, I would love to have perfectly healthy children with no problems and yes I know that through God ,we can handle whatever health they have but I know God has a plan for us on what He wants us to do, I just hope I am alert enough to recognize which way he wants us to go.

The first referral we had nothing much at all about the children and this time, we have pictures and medicals. I thought it might make it easier but it just makes it harder. I see their beautiful faces and each day fall more in love with them and I have not even met them. The last time we had four days of seeing what they looked like and then getting to know them before our dream started to fall apart. This time we will have over three weeks of looking at their pictures and imagining how they are and will be with our family and a day or two of being with them before we have to make a decision. I am afraid that a fall from this would hurt much more.

Ok, now that I have brain dumped on you all, I am off to a fun filled day of picking up my wonderful daughter from camp(who will have missed so much) and packing for vacation. I pray you all have wonderful days and that God's blessings are poured out on you.