WHY?

Yes, that is the 64 million dollar question, or should it be the 64 million times a day question! We have now offically entered the "why" period. When he first started asking, it was great, he was progressing and hitting another milestone. But after a week, I was ready to move on out of that phase. I try to do my best to answer the question that he is asking but after about 5 whys in a row, there is no real answer left to give except " because " or " because I say so". So when I turn the question back to him - his response now is "because I say so". Such a great example I am.

The other major hurddle we are trying to cross is the potty training. I was utterly amazed when we started. I stripped him down, since it was early summer, but we still stayed in the house, and he immediately would stop what he was doing, even in the midst of playing, and go over to the potty( for both one and two!)!! It was great but getting him to do the same thing with his pants on was a whole other story. Needless to say we are making progress by the end of the summer but he won't quite have it by the time preschool starts - but hey - Progress!

Things are really going well over all and I have to say that I am really blessed. The biggest problem we still deal with is overstimulation, especially in new areas. He just loses all control and runs around having a great time but being disruptive to others. I am really praying that his preschool teacher has great patience because preschool will be so challenging for him to focus for while.

The end of summer was great, we went on our yearly visit to King's Island amusement park and had a blast. (King's Island will always be a little different because our trip last year was the day we got our court date!) We made some money at our garage sale and then just tried to enjoy what time was left. We also had our one year post placement visit( wow it is almost a year since GOTCHA). Our social worker was amazed at how well he was doing and could not believe his speech - she could actually understand him. I remember a time when I thought there would never be a day when we would understand what he was saying - to those who are there now - it will come, it will come.

It is sad to have the kids back in school and I miss them so but I look at it as great time to complete all the projects that need to be done. And now that the weather has considerably cooled in the past week, it does feel like fall is on the way - Oh how I love the fall!

Here are a few pictures of the end of our summer.

SLiding down Grammy's water slide

Look at the BIG Tractor Wheel!

MY absolute Favorite picture of Micah!

How cool am I!

Finally I get to DRIVE!

We all love Scooby Doo and so does Micah, even though it doesn't look like it.

My beautiful kids.

Another Milestone

Besides the fact that I am posting only two weeks after the last post, Today is another wonderful day to remember for our family. It was one year ago today that we got to see(face to face) and hold our little boy. It was a fairly smooth morning and we got to get our referral and get to the orphanage before lunch. When I first got to see him, one of his caregivers carried him in to a room of about 12 adults, most of whom he probably never saw. He was so unsure of what was going on and once they handed him to me, he began to cry. I only held him for a minute or two in that first meeting, and then they wisked him out of the room. We did get to see him later that day, after his nap. He was still unsure but no crying. He was cautious but was too excited to play with the toys we brought to let that hold him back.

Here he is that first day:

By the end of the day we knew that he would be our little boy.

It is so wonderful this time of year to start the many anniversaries of our adoption. What is so amazing is to see how things have changed since then.

Here he is today telling me how much he loves me:

He is so sure of himself now and so a part of our family. I was thinking as I tucked him in tonight to bed and he looked up at me and smiled and we did our bedtime routine, one year ago tonight, someone else was putting him to bed, he had no real routine except they put him in bed. He had no hugs, no kisses, no family to love him. It breaks my heart to think that he had to go through that. But we came to get him and now there will be no more nights like that, he can always wake up to a mommy and daddy.

Another great event this weekend was that 5 families who adopted from Astrakhan in the last year all gathered at our house for the weekend. It was such a great time to see each other, to see how the kids have grown and remember and share our journeys. I will write more about that later but you can check The Beadle's blog for her update(she always is so great at posting).

Here are a few pictures from the weekend:

 At the zoo with all those adopted from Russia( one from Kaliningrad, the rest from Astrakhan) minus one.

Later in the weekend minus three( just love how Micah and Grace are trying to hold hands.)

Where oh Where...

have the Canestraro's been? Well, everywhere - almost!  It has been so busy since I last posted that by the time I get the kids down to bed, I am too tired to post. So here is what has been up.

We have had two more birthdays to celebrate

Happy Birthday Olivia! Oh, what a beautiful young lady she is.

And Happy Birthday Dominic! How handsome are they!

We also had the end of school, many doctor appointments, a vacation to the beach and finally a mini trip to WV to visit family for the 4th.

I am still amazed that after 9 month, I still can see so much changes in Micah(OK, I am tired of using initials so I am finally going to start using their names). Mainly in his speech, he just continues to amaze me in what he is learning. It will be interesting to see how much more he will learn once he is in preschool. And speaking of preschool, our summer project is potty training. Kind of hard when you are on the go all the time, but for the effort we have put forth - He is really doing very well - Candy is a good motivator.

The highlight of the past few months has been our vacation to the beach. I knew that Micah would love it, because he loves water, but I was not sure how he would handle the waves.

Here he is evaluating the situation:

Here he is after the waves knocked him down a few times:

I think he likes it! Here is his first attempt at surfing!

I am sure with his energy, he will be great at it someday. There is not much that scares this guy, but we did find something on vacation - a macaw. THere is a bird in a gift shop that we go to that talks to you. I thought he would like it - Oh no. I don't think he has ever clung to me as tightly as he did once the macaw started talking. I would even turn around so that he could see that it would be ok and he would just turn his head. He also did not like the loud noises from family setting off fireworks so I think that it has a lot to do with the loudness of things.

After the episode with the fireworks at our families house, I was not sure how he would handle the big fireworks, especially since we happened to be so close to them( family lives right next to where they are set off). But with a special set of ear plugs, he was just fine.

He daily talks about the "Boom,Boom,Boom!"

The biggest event for us(Russ and myself) was that on June 27th 2009, it was 1 year since we saw our first picture of our little boy. Here is the first glimpse of him:

And here he is today(playing in the sand this time):

It's like he is not the same child! The change still amazes me. These kids are so resilient, if just given a chance.

One other anniversary that has passed, was the one year of our first trip to Russia in May. If you go back and check our blog from June 2008, you will see that we had basically had to turn down a referral of two wonderful children that we wanted so much to adopt. Their grandparents, even though they had turned down once to adopt them, did not want them leaving the country and we were told the courts would never grant us rights to be their parents. We were also told that the grandparents were going to adopt them now. So at the time, we were at peace with the whole thing. However, as time passed, and I continually checked the Russian database, they were both still on it. Month after Month, I was so upset that they were still in an orphange, but finally in May, I checked and they were not there any more. I am not sure if they are with their grandparents or another Russian couple adopted them, but they are with a family and that is what is wonderful. The other good news is the little girl we turned down because of FAS is not on the database any more, so she is hopefully in a loving family also.

So as busy bees we continue to pack as much fun as we can in before school starts back. I hope it will be sooner before the next post. Until then, I leave you all with a picture that describes Micah better than any words.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Yes, Can you believe it! Our Little M turned 3 yesterday and what a great day it was. Besides going all out for his birthday we also had him dedicated to the Lord at our church. I do have to say it was so joyous!

Here he is with his cake.It is hard to tell from the picture but there is a little icing left on his face from where he stuck his finger in the icing right after I sat it down. I am amazed he did not try to grab a handful!  It took him a few times to get the candles blown out but he was so happy and was ready to eat "CAKE". He ate two large pieces. He loved all the presents but I think the most excitement of the day was having balloons! Even this morning when he came down stairs he was so thrilled to see the balloons.  Daddy and M with his new toy.

The dedication went amazingly well also. Usually we dedicate infants and a little crying is usually the only disruption, but with a now 3 year old, I could only imagine the tantrum he might have if he did not get to go over and play with the drums. But, he was GREAT and held our hands and had the crowd eating out of his hands. It felt like a completion of sorts to our journey. We started this due to the prompting of God and we wanted this entire adoption to glorify HIM. So to finally stand in front of our church and commit to raising M in the Lord, was such a fitting piece of the journey. 

Here he is being the perfect, charming little boy:

This weekend was so great that I am hoping that it is a starting point for a long stretch of happy times for our family. The past 6 months have been very sad for our family. We first had to deal with Russ' Mom's sudden diagnosis with cancer and then her death in January. After that His Dad, who has been battling cancer, started to go down hill quickly and unfortunately passed away in April only 91 days after his beloved wife of 51 years. With their deaths and the adjustments we have been going through with bringing in a new little one into our family, we are all ready for a long stretch of boring, not a bad boring but a boring that just consists of a regular routine that we can enjoy each moment not rushing from one thing to the next.

To touch on a few more highlights over the past month. We went to see the Harlem Globetrotters, in which the kids really enjoyed. Then M had his first dentist appointment. He is such an amazing little boy, he was such a tropper and did everything the dentist asked. They were going to skip the x rays because they did not want to push their luck but when he saw the chair, he jumped right up and was ready for the pictures! Then there was his first Easter Egg Hunt! He was not sure what to do at first but once he realized there was candy in the eggs, there was no stopping him.

All these great moments just make me love him more with each one and that is a wonderful feeling. There was a time I wondered why I just did not love him with all my heart but love takes a relationship and a relationship takes time and now I can say to all of you who may feel like I did several months ago, time changes things. And after almost 7 months of having him in our lives, to stand up in church and dedicate him to the Lord and celebrate his first birthday with a family and to feel the emotion of love that I felt, well I just have to say, PRICELESS!

Six Months

Yes, that is how long it has been since I whisked our new little boy out of the orphanage. It is hard to believe that it has been that long already but as you look back and see all the changes that have happened, I am amazed it has not been longer. Here is a picture of M the day I picked him up:

And here he is today:

WOW! One of the most noticeable change is his speech. I mentioned in the last post he was getting evaluated by the school district for a special preschool to help with his speech delay. We thought he would get some type of assistance, BUT they said he was just below on qualifying so no assistance from them. At first I was a little frustrated because we has been waiting and doing testing to get him in this but as it sunk in, HE DOES NOT NEED IT!, I started to realize that it was a good thing. He has progressed so much that just putting him in a regular preschool will probably get him up to speed by Kindergarten. An example of how well he is doing... We were getting in Russ's SUV to go somewhere and as Russ was putting him in he said, "Papa's truck, Mama's van" point to each vehicle. Wow that just floors me when I think of how he has changed.

Other changes include not focused so much on food. I used to be able to use it to get him to do something - I know not a good idea - but now things like playing and going outside are more interesting. The one negative thing is that he is starting to have more temper tantrums - or more like crying fits. THe worst was a day he had to come in from playing outside for an hour. We needed to get dinner ready and he just kept crying about going outside. No matter what I did he kept crying. Finally after 30 minutes he calmed down. I told him after we eat, we would go outside. So after 2 bites at dinner, he was done and ready to go outside. 

The other big milestone since I last posted, was we went on out first family vacation.  It was one of those busy ones that you need a vacation when you get home but we did have fun. Our daughter had tried out for a National Youth Choir that was performing at a conference in Washington D.C. SO we decided to spend the week walking around the city. And walking we did! Little M was the luckiest because he got to ride in the stroller a lot.  He just took it all in and of course wanted to touch everything! The hardest thing was when we were in the basement at Mount Vernon on a tour. We were not suppose to touch the walls or anything - it was like trying to hold on to an octopus trying to keep him from touching anything. I know he did not appreciate where we were  ( But he sure LOVED riding the metro - a.k.a. train)but it was wonderful to know that he was visiting our National capital as an American citizen. Here are some pictures of our trip.

Before I leave, I need to ask for a prayer request.  As I mentioned earlier in the year, Russ's mom passed from cancer. His dad has also been battling cancer for awhile and unfortunately things are not looking good. So please pray for peace for his father and strength.

God bless you all

God's Promises

Ok, as I checked my blog, I realized that I only had one post in February - Oh I am such a bad blogger! So here is my March post(hopefully there will be more then just one).

Things are improving on a regular basis and if I were to type this yesterday, I would have said that things were great - but today Little M has been a testing mode - testing to see how many rules he can break before Mom explodes. So I just count it off as growing pains and make sure he gets down for a nap a little early.

But really, he is doing so much better in so many things. His speech just amazes me! He is now saying 3 word sentences! For a kid who barely said 10 words 5 month ago, I am so in awe. Yesterday we had our evaluation from the school district for speech. He will get into either just speech therapy or be entered into their special preschool program - either would be fine with me I am just anxious to get him some more help. He is speaking so much now but it is still hard to understand what he is saying - which is frustrating on everyone's part. The only concern that I have now is that they called today to get me to fill out a behavior study, so now I am wondering if they are concerned about his behavior yesterday. I know that he has some issues but overall his behavior seems pretty standard - so we will see what they say.

So what has been the highlights of the past month? First it is Micah trying to climb out of his playpen(successfully) and falling on his head. He also got his first official haircut since he was home - He did great, however the other 2 yo girl did all the screaming for the both of them. So far we have only been hit by a minor bug in our family ( only two kids down for 1.5 days), I am so thankful he has not been sick since we have been home. We are at epidemic proportions where we live right now and I am hoping that we can make it through the season with no more illnesses.

One thing that has happened that has saddened me some is an encounter we had with a lady from Russia. She is a seamstress that I use periodically and she got to meet Mfor the first time. SHe was great and so excited to meet him. The thing that was sad was that she would talk to him in Russian, and he did not understand her. It is a reality that I knew about since I have not spoken to him in Russian for 4 months, but none the less, it is his first language and now it is gone. 

However, with something being lost there is always something that is gained and the big new thing for M, is that he likes to cuddle! Now not all the time, just before nap and bed time. I started rocking him and signing to him and as the weeks would pass, the time got longer and longer. And finally, last week, he came up to me during playing and asked to be rocked! Wow! that was wonderful to hear. He has also started to day "I love you" with no prompting and out of the blue. Those are moments that just melt your heart!!!!

And speaking of melting hearts, I have to say that little M  is starting to feel more like my son now. I knew that it would come, and there was no one thing that made a difference, I think it is just time. There is still more that needs to develop but it will come too. I now can't imagine a time without him in our family. Drop down below to see the latest pictures.

With that said, however, it has been a very difficult 5 months. Just the fact that I did not have these special feelings towards M, has opened up an entire can of worms for me, issues that I have never had to deal with. It felt like everything in my life was becoming a struggle and I was having difficulties handling it all. My response to it all was to go to God, to pray and to see what His word said. However, things were no getting better, that is until this weekend. We were studying the feeding of the 5000 in John Chapter 6. Something I had read many times before and several more just in the past week, but something the writer of the study said hit me like a brick wall. After the miraculous feeding, the people are seeking Jesus the next day and find Him, His responds to them in John 6:26 is"... Truly, truly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate the loves and were filled." It was obvious that they did not want Jesus but what he provided. The speaker(Kay Arthur) asked, "Are you seeking what the Lord provides or the Provider? When I thought about it I had to say that I was seeking what the Lord provided. Now, I was not seeking for Him to make food appear on my table with no work or that I would win the lottery( that I never play) but I just wanted to be more like Jesus. More loving to others, more kind, more patient, less selfish... things that He tells us to seek in the Bible. The problem is that I was still trying to do it myself. I had bible versus everywhere, trying to following them and remind myself how I was to be. I was asking for help in my prayers but not doing much praising of the Lord. I was reading everything I could on the problems I was struggling with. I was trying to work my way into being the way God wants me to be and I was not just wanting to be with Jesus - fixing my eyes on Him. I was not letting Him and Him alone be my bread of life. I know that some of you may read this and not get it - I did not get it the many times I read that verse, but it has made such a profound impact on me I just had to share it. I know there are many of you out there who are struggling now and I hope that this will help you. It may or may not but remember to stay focused on Jesus. I kept doing my bible studies and going week after week and there were so many times I just wanted to stop, because they were not addressing the problems that I was having but God used one little verse and a wonderful women to open my eyes - to point me back to Jesus. I will still be doing my bible studies and reading and learning versus but my emphasis has changed, it will no longer be on me but on Jesus.

 Loving from big sis
Big sis "girling" me up
 A FULL rainbow - Remembering God's Promises

Tummy Testing

And I am not talking about food. Sometimes you just wonder what in the world is going through their minds. As I was washing dishes the other day, this is what I saw:

 Now I was wondering what had happened? Did he fall? He is not crying. And then I watched as he got up and did this:

Instead of using his hands to feel the different temperatures of the heating vent and the cool tile, He was using his tummy. Only a toddler!

The past few weeks we have our ups and downs but things are getting better. Tonight was actually great. It was just Little M and myself and it went very well. There was a moment, when it was time to clean up for his bath, that he started pushing my buttons. Now he gets a massive amount of toys out during the day so I am usually helping him and asking him to do certain things. Well, he was not being difficult but he was being manipulative so instead of getting more frustrated, I got up, told him to clean up, and walked out of the room. Whenever he called for me, I told him to clean up and believe it or not - HE CLEANED UP THE QUICKEST I HAD EVER SEEN HIM. He was so proud of himself and came to get me to show me. He was happy that I was happy and things went great the rest of the night. I am not expecting this approach to work all the time but it is something to remember.

Unfortunately, I can't say I have much more exciting news than this. The days seem to go by so fast and I am so tired in the evenings that they all seem to be a big blur at times. However, one great thing that did happen this week. I got a call from a fellow adoptive mom that I met in Astrakhan on our final trip. It was so wonderful to hear Kathy's voice, it was like we were back in the Korvet hotel. It is amazing how you meet people on your adoption journey, if only for a few days, but because of the bond of adoption, you just feel like you have known them forever.

I love pictures and so I will leave you with a few of my favorite this past week. First is our play time in the snow and the last just cracks me up. It is morning hair for Little M( normally his hair is so fine that there really is no morning hair - but for some reason this hair would not go down) it reminds me of those penguins whose feather stand up on their head, or for us older folks, Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.